We wish we can say that Christian dating is like a walk in the park–but the truth is, it’s good to get all the help you can get. Seasoning your single life and dating life with prayer is excellent–and it’s best to partner that with preparation. Once you’re in a relationship (or better yet, even BEFORE you enter one), it’s important that you learn how to be a Godly girlfriend.
After all, you should not just looking to be a girlfriend to please a guy; rather, we aim to be a good Christian girlfriend. Why? As Christian ladies, knowing how to be a Godly girlfriend helps to give glory to our Father in heaven–which is what we are called to do in all aspects of our life. (Colossians 3:17)
How to Be a Godly Girlfriend
Have a strong & intimate relationship with God
The key to being a Godly girlfriend is to first have an alive, active and intimate relationship with God (that should be pretty obvious when you get the root word of Godly). We want our lives to first be centered on Christ, with a goal of being more and more like Him. After all, we don’t just want to be a good Christian girlfriend on the façade. Instead, we want to truly be rooted and grounded as an individual.
This will be crucial because without an intimate and personal relationship with God first, you’ll find yourself trying to fill that God-space in your heart by your dating relationship. There’s that tendency that you’ll make the relationship your little “god” (with a small g) and be so focused on your boyfriend that God is set aside.
And this is not a rule that’s made just for rule’s sake. This is actually for your benefit because God is the author of relationships and God IS love. There’s not better starting point to learn how to love and how to be a Godly girlfriend that by understanding how God loves.
Find your security & confidence in Christ
There’s nothing more annoying than a girlfriend who anchors her security on her boyfriend–one who cares TOO MUCH about what he thinks and needs a constant supply of compliments, gifts, and the like. Don’t get me wrong. We believe in the need for expressing love–but it’s not healthy if you’re always demanding love to make up for an insecurity. That is in NO WAY being a good Christian girlfriend material.
I can say this because I used to be sooo insecure about myself. I didn’t like my looks and my weight, and I’d need my date to ALWAYS affirm that he liked my appearance and that he wouldn’t leave me for another woman. I was constantly fishing for compliments, and was so suspecting of any girl friends that my date would have. Let me tell you–it was the TOTAL OPPOSITE of how it is to be a Godly girlfriend.
A fruit of knowing God (in #1 above) is that we also get to know who we are in His sight. Be secure and confident in how God sees you–that you are precious to Him, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, that you are created with a purpose, and that you are worth loving because Jesus Himself gave His life for yours. Your identity goes above and beyond being a good Christian girlfriend. You are LOVED by the GREATEST LOVER OF ALL!
If you’re serious with finding out how to be a Godly girlfriend, then you need to know that it’s something that request CONSCIOUS EFFORT. You cannot just go with the flow. A secret on how to be a Godly girlfriend is to be a supporter, an encourager, and a catalyst, and not a detractor, a judger, and a cause for stunting.
We don’t mean one who just lets her guy get away with everything–that’s not what a good Christian girlfriend does. Instead, be one who supports his interests, yet at the same time, helps with his growth in different areas–
- Practically speaking, a Godly girlfriend will be a complement to the man with her practical wisdom. For example, you’re not to empower your boyfriend to have more credit card debt with how you demand gifts. Instead, to be a Godly girlfriend means that you will help him manage his finances in a way that glorifies God.
- A Godly girlfriend will support her guy’s hopes and dreams–especially as it aligns with God’s will for her boyfriend’s life. She won’t shut down his interest in playing sports (especially if it’s done in moderation) just because she’s not sporty. Rather, she will find joy in his interests as well.
- Spiritually, a Godly girlfriend will support her boyfriend’s walk with the Lord by encouraging him to have daily quiet time, his own discipleship group, and his own ministry where he can serve. She will not be a hindrance to her boyfriend’s growth by being a distraction or by provoking and tempting towards sin.
- A Godly girlfriend will provide support emotionally by encouraging her boyfriend when he’s feeling down — not just with her own wisdom, but with God’s Word. She will pray for him and help him pick up himself and try again. She’s not a nagger – but instead, her mouth is a source of life.
Think of yourself less
Our final tip on how to be a Godly girlfriend is to think of yourself less. I don’t mean being a doormat, or lowering your “self-worth”. Rather, instead of focusing so much on what you’re going to GET out of the relationship, focus more on what you can GIVE. It’s kinda counter-cultural as we’re used to asking “what’s in it for me?”, but the real key on how to be a Godly girlfriend is to do it for the sake of your boyfriend and his growth, more than it is for your own “bragging rights” that you’re an amazing date.
Seek to understand, more than being understood. Seek to forgive, rather than holding grudges. Seek to show love, more than putting so much emphasis on receiving it. A good Christian girlfriend loves as God does and this way is God’s way of loving–as He Himself loved us first even WHILE we were sinners.
Christian dating can be challenging–but you can definitely learn how to be a Godly girlfriend yourself. Prayer is necessary, and preparation is key. With God’s help, we’re sure that you can be that Godly girlfriend that’s not just Instagram-worthy, but also one who reflects Jesus in her life.
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