How to pee standing up in a wedding dress

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Bride
Photo by Felix André Skulstad (web | facebook). Used by permission.

One of my biggest fears with getting a fancy dress is how to pee. Not because the infamous garbage bag method isn’t a fabulous idea, but because I’m recovering from a back injury that uh, interrupts my flow, shall we say. Peeing usually means sitting, waiting, shifting again, waiting again, repeat until I at least don’t feel like I have to go again.

You can imagine that can get a little weird/awkward/wrinkly/cumbersome in a pretty, expensive dress.

Recently I was in New York and discovered the pStyle. Since I was in New York City and the bathrooms in public places are sketchy at best, I figured it couldn’t hurt. I know standard practice is to squat, but because of the injury that’s not an option, and I drink so much water it could drown a goldfish.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that it didn’t leak. That I could actually pee… all at once… like before I broke my back. And that it was easy to get my clothes out of the way!

This is now my go-to peeing method. I’m unashamed to say this, because there’s no way I’m the only person suffering from urinary issues. It took a few tries to get the positioning perfect and discover my lower abs (they help you pee when your spine doesn’t feel like it!) but now I can actually pee.

So this is my plan for the wedding:

  1. Take the front of the dress and throw it over my shoulder.
  2. Put the train over my arm.
  3. Pee with my new gadget.
  4. Wipe.
  5. Done.

If you have a super froofalicious dress, you could do this method at the same time.

I hope this helps someone out. Maybe it would even be a good addition to a survival bag, especially for an outdoor wedding where the bathroom options are less-than-ideal.

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