Is it wrong to buy my dream dress before I even get engaged?

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By: lovemaegan – CC BY 2.0
By: lovemaeganCC BY 2.0

I am in a very loving, long-term relationship with my partner, and marriage is most definitely on the cards in the near future. In fact, we talk about the “big party” we’ll have sometime fairly frequently. We both still live with our parents (but have had some experience living together) and he plans on proposing once we buy our own house later this year, once we are officially “adults” (if there’s ever such a time!).

But this isn’t a story about the “if” and the “when” — I know there’s no “if,” and I know the “when” is coming. We both do. This is about one of my passions — wedding planning. Particularly, the wedding dress…

I have always been in love with love, and, as such, have always had a soft spot for weddings. For the last six years or so, I have become obsessed with wedding planning and styling. So many ideas, so many colours, so many themes! As you can imagine, I have quite the Pinterest board as a result. Over the years, I’ve collected many favourite pins and websites (including this one!) and an array of dresses. But a year or more ago, I found “the dress.”

I know this certainly isn’t a feeling everyone has, or SHOULD have, but this dress just spoke to me. I adore it. Albeit, a little traditional, but not like any other traditional dress I’ve seen, with enough offbeat flair to pull off as my own true style.

I was happy to stare at it every so often, but this last month, it was brought to my attention that “bridal designs” go out of style. Sell out. Taken off the floor. Gone forever. As it was a couple of years old, I was worried I’d never be able to find the design in person, when the time was right.

When the time is right.

What is that?

In a bit of a panic, I may have rang all of the listed stockists in my state to try to find if anyone had any on their floor. Only one store had one left.

And here, dear audience, is my dilemma…

I know, there are plenty of dresses out there, and there will always be another dress. But I’ve lusted after this baby for so long. And now, I don’t know what to do next.

I really want to go try it on and even buy it if it’s as dreamy as I have imagined it to be. However, I have had such mixed reactions from my dearest friends, some being very excited, and others think that I’m (endearingly) a little bit mad.

I know that this is the one I want. I’ve wanted it for so long. Is it really so wrong to want to go try it on? Am I weird for wanting to buy my dream dress before I even get engaged?

Being a bit alternative and tomboyish, my friends don’t really expect this from me. I also feel that there’s this societal judgement of “ohh, that chick’s nuts” or “what a red flag!” Why should I feel persecuted for being organised, or pursuing what I want? I can walk into an antique store and buy a gorgeous item or knickknack for my future house, but buying something for my future wedding is completely absurd?

Why do I have to sit around and wait for an engagement ring that I know is on it’s way, just so that I’m “allowed” to go get my dress? It doesn’t seem right that I have to potentially miss out on a dress I love just because I have to wait another 6-9 months to get a piece of bling of my finger that gives me “permission” to go for it. I’m an independent woman who knows what she wants, why should I have to wait around for that?

I would LOVE some advice from you all, has anyone else ended up buying a wedding dress before getting engaged?

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